Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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