I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
