I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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