thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
