At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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