Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
