32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
