Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
