I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
