physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
