Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
