i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
