if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize