Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I could make wine with my vomit
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
