Pappa wants mamma naked
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize