Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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