Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
