I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
