If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i think we sleep fucked last night...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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