Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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