While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
