What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
