Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
