I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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