ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
