I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
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I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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