I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
