You're so nebulous sometimes
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Welp...herpes.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
