Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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