Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
