Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
