I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Can I color on your dick again?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize