does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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