hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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