my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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