I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
