Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
