We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
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If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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