3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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