THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
