Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
