The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize