I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
