she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
