Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
