you traded sex for a burrito?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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