its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
