I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
