No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
