So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
