I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
