1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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