I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
