I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
