I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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