I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I woke up under a house in Key West
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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