I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
