My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize