i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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