The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
