you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
