i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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