I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.