At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
