He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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